Letting your child do what they want: what a psychologist recommends

 Imagine for a moment an education without the word "no," or any restrictions whatsoever. The child is king in the truest sense of the word and lives life as they see fit. Unthinkable for most parents who prefer to maintain their authority, even at the risk of seeing their little ones eating chips for breakfast and wearing tutus in 5°C weather. So what would happen if children were as free as birds and masters of their own choices? As surprising as it may seem, it could have its advantages.

What a child does when they have all the rights

When a child has no prohibitions or rules, they aren't necessarily the type to do whatever comes to mind. No, they won't lick the giant ice cream cone in the mall, nor will they raid the toy stores—their paradise. No, they won't climb the living room chandelier or use the stair railing as a slide. They might deliberately forget to brush their teeth once or twice and perhaps try to tame a pigeon they found in the garden. Nothing too bad.

When a child isn't subject to adult rules, they will naturally gravitate towards play, their favorite pastime. They won't rummage through cupboards looking for treats, but rather through the toy box. "A child left alone will be more inclined towards leisure activities, in the broadest sense, exploring the world. This can be similar to certain forms of education where the child is left to their own devices," explains child psychiatrist Dr. Stéphane Clerget to Doctissimo . It's their curiosity that drives them.

Letting your child do what they want also gives them the opportunity to experiment for themselves, gently exposes them to failure, and grants them a degree of autonomy. Of course, the idea isn't to indulge their every whim and constantly give in to their every desire, but rather to prepare them for real life. In other words, it's about finding a balance between permissiveness and authority.

Letting things happen is not the same as abandoning them

Letting your child do whatever they want and giving them permission to act grown-up before their time seems rather risky. You're already picturing a Malcolm in the Middle-style disaster scenario. You see your child gorging on all kinds of candy, rolling around in the mud in brand-new clothes, going barefoot to school, and conducting messy experiments at home. In short, you know better than anyone that without guidance, your little one would wear their sweaters inside out, their shoes the wrong way, and happily skip their homework.

As a parent, you want to stay in control. If you loosen the reins for even an hour, you're afraid your child will misbehave and get into trouble. However, letting things slide doesn't mean completely disengaging and acting like a bystander in your child's life.

You are no longer a hierarchical superior who abuses their power, but rather a benevolent guide who protects without stifling, who supports without influencing. This approach allows the child to understand for themselves, rather than blindly obeying. "Children develop by imitating their parents; they seek their attention and demand it. In return, the parent's role is indeed to set boundaries for the child, to teach them how to live with others, how to behave in society, and what limits they can reach," the specialist continues.

From an outsider's perspective, letting your child do whatever they want might seem quite radical, even "permissive." Others might mistake this freedom for weakness, when in reality it builds children's character and sense of adventure. It's this difference that means later on, the child won't be afraid to venture into the unknown, to step outside their comfort zone.